Life, in a breath.

I was recently studying some teachings by Alan Watts, a philosopher who heavily studied the traditions of East Asia, and he focused upon an idea, very briefly, just in passing, that clicked with me very well as an effective analogy that I've thought about and further expanded upon. That is, life (and the four noble truths of Buddhism) in a single breath.

The Noble truths are that life is suffering, suffering stems from attachment and the desire for permanency, that you can be released from suffering, and how to do it is to follow the eight-fold path. The release from suffering is Nirvana.

Now, what does Nirvana actually mean? Well, we generally have this picture in our mind or an eternal state of bliss, or some people even envision a place, like heaven. But, what the word Nirvana actually means is to extinguish. If we think of a candle, the flame being suffering, the extinguishing of that flame is the release of suffering. So, blowing out, that release of our breath, is that "putting out", or extinguishing action. So that release of the flame, and the release of the breath are one in the same, metaphorically. But, what Alan Watts mentioned in passing was that breath, as an analogy, works for the entire Four Noble truths, and our problems in life.

First, we inhale. This is the suffering. We are pulling in, more and more and more. A collection of air, just like a collection of possessions, a desire to gather, to claim, to hold. It may not even be conscious, but it occurs throughout our lives. It is an inward movement of taking, of claiming and possessiveness. Just like during the inhale, we are collecting, taking and claiming the air around us. Now of course this is not a negative thing. It is never the possession that causes us pain and suffering, just like breathing in the air around us doesn't hurt us. It is the next phase of breath, and the next noble truth that causes the suffering. This is attachment, the desire to hold things, claim them as your own in a world in which nothing is permanent that causes us pain, because in the end it is impossible to hold on forever, and if attached we hurt when we loose the control we thought to have. This is as if after taking a large inhale we simply stop, and try to hold onto the breath. For a moment or two, nothing seems wrong, but as we all know in a matter of moments the tension in our chests begin to build, we start straining to keep it in, it hurts, more and more until we feel we must explode because we cannot hold onto this breath any longer. Then comes the end of suffering, the release. When we realize that we can let go, and must let go of our desire for our control because it is futile, the release is uplifting, freeing and beautiful. The attachment is severed, the pain is gone, it doesn't control us anymore. This is the exhale after the long-held breath, that relief. And with the exhale comes the extinguishing of the flame, realization that extinguished the suffering, and the awareness of that necessary peace that the exhale had created. The blowing out of the flame was the blowing out of the breath, and the "blowing out" that is Nirvana itself.

It's an analogy that I like, and I look forward to working on developing a really nice, cleaned up version of it.

Live by example.

So, the last week or so has been pretty busy. Started school again, and talked to some people to initiate the creation of a Terracycle center at the school. I have a meeting with the dean soon to finalize it and after that it should be good to go. I worked for an old friend on Saturday for awhile, doing some yard work on lake Koshkonong and on Sunday I said a goodbye to someone else who I have cared about for a very long time, who is moving cross country. That was a very trying day, but I've been trying very hard to be positive lately, and it's definitely making a difference in my life. I am starting to feel unshakable. Even when negativity strikes, I'm able to confront it, accept it and push it aside in favor of positivity , passion and personal progress. I think that alliteration is going to become a personal motto for myself. I feel like I'm really starting to become a good person, or rather, a person that I'm proud of being. I think I'm a long way off from hitting that goal, but I feel as if progress is being made. I feel as if I'm pushing myself, through personal projects, academics, physical exercise, art and relationships to others I am starting to become the person I want to be, and I hope others should strive to be as well.

Which brings me to the point of this post. I get frustrated with people who teach something, preach something, or advise something that they do not follow themselves. I understand that one may learn a lot about something, yet have no personal experience "applying" it, but still may be knowledgeable, but it calls into question their motives, passion and sincerity to me. I have criticized myself on this many times. I value physical fitness, but am not at my peak physical goal yet, so I feel I have to push myself harder. I value positivity, but have struggled with depression, so I strive to correct that. I value living a life that leaves little negative impact on the environment, but I take short cuts sometimes, so I have been pushing myself to go out of my way further and further to do know what I know is right, regardless of the inconvenience. I bring this up though because I am taking a class titled "Human Impact on the Environment" and on the first day I noticed a handful of things about the professor teaching said course that are easy examples of negative human impact on the environment. For one, he is not a vegetarian, and for anyone who wants to "go green", going vegetarian is one of the most effective ways to go about it. Another thing was, in a class in which we could do everything from a website, he printed off packets of information onto paper and handed them out to the class. He said he drives all the time (instead of biking), uses Styrofoam cups, etc. All things that someone that was trying to "go green" would change about themselves presumably, yet he did not. Yet... he teaches a class about human impact on the environment. It makes me wonder if I can take his course seriously. I feel it would be like walking into a class on biological evolution that was taught by a creationist. My point being, I feel like if you are going to teach something to others, it should be something that you believe in enough to practice in your own life. It's all about sincerity and honesty, two qualities I hope to build toward exemplifying. So, In light of this, it once again just made me want to try harder at becoming what I want to become and I hope others try hard to do the same.

My birthday, starting school and preparing for the adventure of a lifetime.

Well, today is my birthday. Another year passed by. I think about all that has happened since this time last year and I can hardly believe it's only been a year. It was one of those years where when looking back you realize that it was both more of a struggle and more of a joy than you would have ever expected. It was one of those years that tests your mental and emotional resolve and where definite changes have become noticeable in your personality and place in life, even if it is not apparent to others. In short, last year was a heavy one, and I'm expecting this year to be the same but full of opportunities. I turn 23 today.

I start school tomorrow. Finally, my last semester at The University of Rock County. I'm taking four classes, and tutoring three more, so it will be a heavy semester. I'm also going to be working on some personal projects through the University. I'm going to be trying to get the school to start a Terracycle collection, as I mentioned in the previous blog, and I'm going to be working with one of the philosophy professors on doing research and writing a philosophical essay on Veganism. If anyone reading isn't familiar with philosophical essays, they are not like the essays you would write in an English class. They are very in depth, use the form of a logical argument aimed to deliver a point of view and defending it against critique. So in short, it will be a lot of work. After this semester, I will be transferring up to The University of Wisconsin-Madison. From everything I hear, it's a great school with fantastic opportunities, great groups of people, great classes and great growth potential. So, I'm looking forward to it, very much so. I'm just finishing up my application and will be sending it off in the next couple days.

Now, onto what I really wanted to write about. When I look back on this summer, although I've been productive in light of some difficult situations, I didn't get to do the one thing I really wanted to do which was travel. I wanted to go somewhere and go backpacking and/or camping for awhile but because of financial limitations I didn't get to do so. It brought me down a lot. There are so many great places I'd like to see, especially on the west coast. I've been reading "My First Summer in the Sierra" by John Muir, and the way he describes his treks through the mountains around Yosemite Valley is really inspiring. Then the other day, I read an article about a man who set a new record for the fastest time hiking the entirety of The Pacific Crest trail, a trail that runs through the Sierra Nevada, a trail that John Muir himself once frequented. The person who set the record was another Vegan too! Doing the entire trail in about two months. And then it happened, it hit me all at once that this is what I was supposed to do. Hike this trail. It would get me out in nature, REAL nature for months at a time, I would be able to see beautiful places that would probably amount to 50 or more normal vacation trips, I'd be able to push myself much, much farther than I ever have before, and really find the truth of who I am. So, I'm starting to plan for the trip next summer. I'm going to leave immediately when school gets out and try to hike the entire thing before school starts again in the fall. I'm starting to collect funds for it now. I'm going to look around and see if there is anyone or any company that might sponsor my trip. The Vegan that did it in record time was sponsored by an energy bar company and raised money for an animal rights group. So, I'm going to look into seeing if I can find something like that to do as well to help me out.

To give a little information about the trail, it starts at the Californian/Mexican border and goes all the way up through California, through Oregon and to the Washington/Canadian border. It starts off through arid, desert like mountains, goes into the Sierra mountains, through the Sequoia forests and Redwood forests, (and a bunch of other lesser known but amazing forests and state parks) right along lake Tahoe, through the wooded country of Oregon, over the Columbia river, and past Mt. Hood and Mt. Rainier in Washington and then into some amazing mountains near the border at the end of the trek. So, it's ambitious to say the least, but I can't think of anything else more deserving to work hard for than to spend a few months in such beautiful places. To walk amongst the world's largest trees, to sleep on mountain tops, to swim in the ocean and in beautiful lakes like Crater and Tahoe, and know that I did something really great...that's what I'm striving for. It would be one of those things that if I have to sell everything I own to fund it, I will.

So, there is the post for today. Might be a few before I post again because of school starting but I'll try and hop back on. I think the next post is going to be something more philosophy related again, instead of just updates. So, take care until next time.